My mother passed away on 31 December 2023. While I want to say we saw it coming (she had been bedridden for awhile, and also fading since November), nothing can express the actual experience as we were heading to the parental home as she took her last breath and I got the call.
I won’t get into the distress and sadness that followed, but it reached a point when I found it difficult to even go back to the family home, whether it was to see how the dogs were doing, or just to get documents related to my mother’s estate.
Eddy and I had planned to join the Heart Healers Network for a retreat midway through January, but I didn’t feel like going. He convinced me that it would do me good, and if I wanted to be alone, he said I could be alone. I was, after all, with other healers.
So we headed to the outskirts of Kuala Kubu Baru, past the town and before heading up towards Fraser’s Hill, to Riverwood Holiday Homes.
The place was actually quite easy to miss (we did, and so did all the other healers), but once we got there, it seriously was a balm to the soul. Set deeper in from the main road, there was a car park space for Riverwood and also the Sticks.
Kuala Kubu Baru, or ‘KKB’ for short, has always been a little bit of a magical place for Eddy and I. For me, it was because the destination is so close to Fraser’s Hill, which was a magical place for me when I was a child, and still is now as an adult.
The energy around this area of Malaysia is general brighter, and not as dark as that deeper into the jungles of the country. At least this area of jungle we were at.
The security guard had the cutest dog, apparently a jungle dog who came one day and decided to stay. She was our best friend for our stay.
This place is well-known for the suspension bridge over Sungai Chilling, where many an Instagram-worthy photo has been taken.
In the end, Eddy was right. Even that short trip supported me in my grief.
To be honest, there wasn’t a time when I didn’t think of my mother, or my father, or of both of them. They were in the trees, in the chirping birds, they were in the rush of the river and they were in sounds of the nightfall in the forest.
In the weeks leading up to my mother’s death, I kept getting the Lovers as a random card when I shuffled to STIM. I understand that some cards are random, but I intuitively knew that this one was not.
And I found the Lovers everywhere I turned.
This helped a lot, because I felt my parents were everywhere. They were reunited and in unison. And they were sort of watching over me, and yet allowing me to just be. So that was really a good experience to have in my grief.
Nightfall By The Jungle River (Short Version)
This audio features the soothing symphony of the jungle at night by a river. You may also find the natural ‘white noise’ helpful in lulling you into relaxation or deep sleep. The natural sounds can also be used after a long day to unwind, or to enhance your mindfulness or meditation practice.
The sounds are of the River Chiling in the lush tropical forests of Malaysia.
A new yoga class has been brewing inside me for awhile. It’s called “Yoga of the Cards”, and it made its debut here at this retreat. Ostensibly, a Heart Healers Network gathering, there was an itinerary, and we did some vision boarding, drum journeying, tarot reading and one short session of Yoga of the Cards.
I intend to run these classes only on the chair, so we practised as such during the retreat. Because it was a short practice, we practised only with one card – the 7 of Swords.
It was a great practice (at least, I felt), and I could feel those creative juices flowing during the stay at the retreat.
Nature and animals.
Okay, so the best part was being in nature, and the lovely happy dog who belonged to the security guard.
The river, just a walk down, was gently bubbling at the top, then cascaded down a low crop of rocks and became a bit more brisk.
The sound of the river though was soothing, and I could hear it day and night.
It also was just such an experience to practice reiki, meditation and card reading in nature. This was how it was meant to be!
To be honest, if the stay had been as it was in the jungles of Gunung Ledang, I might not have enjoyed it as much. However, Riverwood Holiday Homes was awesome. The chalets were clean, the rooms were spacious and airy, the food was super excellent, and the hospitality was fantastic.
We couldn’t ask for more!
It was a short trip though, and I think psychologically, I wouldn’t have handled a longer trip away. I would like to do a bit of an extended stay in Fraser’s Hill some time after the Lunar New Year though. I’ll keep you updated!
Getting away to get on.
The first working day of the time I got back, I began making calls and enquiries as to how to proceed with sorting out my mother’s estate. I had been procrastinating because it was honestly too painful. But I felt restored enough to begin at least calling, making those first steps.
I don’t think I would have been able to without that getaway.
So if you can, in your grief, find some time to get away. It will only support you.
If you need help in processing your grief through yoga, reiki and other wellness modalities, please do contact me. I am here to help.
Yoga For Grief Retreat
NOURISHING PRACTICES FOR HEARTFELT HEALING.
A FREE Yoga Retreat Program that will help you to:
- acknowledge your feelings
- release your pain
- restore your energy
- reconnect with your inner wisdom
- reclaim your joy
You will get yoga, meditation, breath-work and journaling practices for this retreat..